Understory, Fall 2026—Issue I (Digital Edition)

Memory

by Denise Gartner

I see your eyes searching

searching deep, for a chard, for a hint.

I feel the fear and

sense the frustration. 

For so many years

You fed me knowledge,

You built my memories.

I now hold them all.

I hold them for both of us,

Pouring them into you,

knowing there will come a time

when you can no longer hold them

At all.

Fractured

I haven’t spoken to you in a very long time. 

Is that my fault?

Once upon a time, you were more than my family,

You were my friend.

You held my secrets as I held yours.

You knew my dreams.

There was warm comfort

knowing you were there.

We sought each other out,

depending on safety.

Suddenly you were no longer there.

I didn’t notice that you left.

Perhaps I stopped looking for you

Perhaps you didn’t want to be found.

As our relationship moved from fractured to broken,

Do you see it coming? Did I?

Before the absence became permanent, 

was there time to act?

After all this time,

I’m not sure how I feel.

Do I feel betrayed?

Do I feel guilty?

I’m not sure I miss you.

Denise Gartner is an elementary school principal exploring what comes next as retirement approaches. She enjoys writing personal essays and historical fiction. This is her first attempt at poetry. In her free time, she enjoys sewing, kayaking, and exploring the coast of NC with her husband.